The Way My Mind Works

Hi,

Its been quite a while since I blogged, not due to the lack of topics but because mainly because of sluggishness and slightly because I had work. So now this story goes like this.

I was watching a movie now, one of my all time favourites and I think it is precisely the 33rd time I am watching it, when some points just struck to my mind on how my mind actually works!!

First of all, I feel that more that 99% of thoughts that come to my mind fall in one of the following categories.

• not-at-all-useful
• cannot happen
• happened in the past
• will be better if it happens like this
• should have happened like this
• I should have reacted like this**
• this is what I should do**
• completely pessimistic
• WTF??
• Random, as in there are no meaning or structure to them**
• Should I do that now when doing this **
• this is what I want to be ( seeing almost anything), etc etc..

** -> thoughts that more frequently come to my mind.

Robin Sharma in his "The Monk who sold his Ferrari" states blatantly that more than 95% of human thoughts are completely useless. I am starting to wonder is it the same in all the age groups?? Why have I never ever given this a thought?? May be I was not mature enough or my corporate environment is making me think so (:) ThoughtWorks definitely is not a corporate environment. It is like being in a KinderGarten in here. It will take me another post to speak about this.) or is it because I am genuinely getting older?? I don't know.

So, let me take a step back and think aloud for what is the reason for such randomness in life or life without a discipline. Let me elicit some of the reasons.

• Is it because the filter property of the mind is not working fine? Is my mind not able to filter out properly unwanted things from necessary things?
• Is it because I am goalless/ the goal I have set at the back of my mind is not motivating enough/ not clear/ this is not my goal at all?
• Is it because I am not able to achieve my short term targets?
• Is it because I am having too much of a target to achieve more than my capability/ I keep adding more stuff as soon as I see myself approaching my target?
• Is it because I am not celebrating my victories and becoming avaricious of more and more stuff?
• Is it because I am thinking too much not leaving some of my life's moments to nature itself and sitting back and relaxing?
• Is it because I am not taking nutritious food like fresh vegetables that is making me sluggish?
• Is it because I am looking at other successful people in my family, putting pressure on myself to become like/ greater than them in my life?
• Is it because of my mom who always hints that what ThoughtWorks pays you is nothing but literal peanuts?
• Is it because of my ego?
• Is it because I am not taking to many people and the socialising factor has become much low?
• Is it because I am thinking to over achieve than my capability?

Having written so much "Is it because", I almost forgot why did I start writing this even? However I now get a embarrassing feel that what one of my friends told me is actually becoming true - "You are also using your blog as an outlet to vent out your hearts feelings and there is actually nothing useful in it for other readers". Sorry guys, that may be true with this post and some of the previous ones but I promise I ll try my max to inhibit myself from doing it.

However coming back to my analysis, I feel that there are no concrete reasons for this. It just happens/ happened. There are however, ways to overcome it but not to stop it from happening. "The monk who sold his Ferrari" actually tells some very good ideas to actually control one's own mind which when mastered makes you the master of the everything in life. Practising every damn step will actually make me a monk, which I definitely don't want to become now. However I feel that I should start actually practising some of those to control "The Way My Mind Works".

On a finishing note - "Even Elixir in excess becomes a poison - The same applies to Randomness in Life". FYI -This is my own quote.